my final failure

hello followers i'm sorry but i belive this may be my last post

i have dicided i dont wish to live this way i'm tired and i need to rest... in hell.
i have dicided how i'm going to end it all... i'm going to lock my self in my truck and fall asleep with the engine turned on  it should do the trick as painlessly as possible...

i'm so sorry everyone but its true this time last time i was trying to find something out but now i dont want to know anything this time. iv'e learned all i can in this war and i dont want to know anything more now.

now i'm going

my goodbyes:
i'm sorry zero
i'm sorry elegant decay
i'm sorry sarah
im sorry X
im sorry burning ark
i'm sorry proxies


i have learned something
i learned i am going to become a full insane proxy

i dont want that
i dont want to hurt you all
im not doing this for my own benifets im doing this for you

you can die a hero or you can live long enough to become the villian

im so sorry

remember you can only love life...

 as much as you hate it...

MUCH NEEDED UPDATE FOR FOLLOWERS

hello its dark sun

i have been very very busy lately and i feel like you all need an update on whats going on...

well to start things off i belive i have posted something about zero so i suppose i shall explain the other one
her name is elegant decay and she is right now a very good fiend.
we met through zero and currently we are trying to save her from somebody named the server. he currently a proxy rank 7 (out of 10, i'm a 4) and he seems vary intent on keeping elegant decay (or E.D), but more about E.D first. mostly all i know of her is about her connection with a proxy creator known as The Grey (or what she calls him: zedorian grey) ( ZI-DOOR-HE-ON) when she sleeps she meets the zedioran grey in her own mind. this expirance i think may have gifted her  with a 6th sense (A.K.A future telling) she has shown me many  a time she has the abilaty and i think part of that and grey is what theserver is after. not sure yet.

so currently me and zero and her friend sarah are all trying to locate E.D but we are not having much luck and now zero is missing (right on time as usual zero -.-) and now i'm going to have to save her and E.D too while im up to my ass in paperwork from the proxies and even school and homework(yes proxies go to school too. that best buddy in your class yeah better take a look and see if he has any masks or slendy pics in his lunch pale or cubby hole XD now try highschool)  so i'm kinda fucked  right now i'm running on vaper and its going to take forever to find them both but once i find zero im putting her under house arrest by the proxies so then while shes safe at home ill be free to continue my research

soon i am going to try somthing to get E.D back im just not sure how to do it yet

i wont give in theserver

server i hope your reading this because i wont be intimadated by your little game of kidnapping people. your nothing in this game to me your nothing but a power hungry idiot that cant get past who he really is to fight me because you know what  your greatest power will be your greatest downfall.
do not test me

in fact i remember the last people who pissed me off this much the first was a kid who wrote me death threats well to make a long story short hes in a mental hospital screaming: "help me, ghosts are coming for me" and before that was a teacher who used to yell at us in third grade well shes in tie-won trying to make a buck selling oranges... yeah . and the last one was when two kids (who were best friends you cannot even imagine how close they were) were a bit mean to me and now they hate eachothers guts one even tried to kill the other

now you have kidnapped my friend locked her up would not let her speak to me hurt her and worst of all stolen her cigerettes. that was years ago and now i'm much older and far more smarter then who i used to be and you have angered me in ways you cannot imagine. so what do you think i'm going to do... don't tell me just let it simmer in your mind a little...

 just know this. the end is coming and you will not get away with this unpunished in the most brutal way you can think of. i know what your planning to do and i'm using some new tricks iv'e picked up over the years and iv'e been dieing to try them out.

she is strong and she will fight i know shes not brainwashed just yet i know shes still in there and i will fight to my last breath to find where she is. i have done... horrible things... for a faith that was never my own, and now i realise i'm not like the rest of them... i help the chosen, i care for them, i love them and you will not make me into a mindless chosen killing zombie like you.
you can ether die a hero... or live long enough to become the villain. and ill die a hero because that will last FAR longer then anything you can ever be. i don't care what iv'e done i don't care if i go to hell because before i do i will fight my way into saving at least these chosen so they don't become like me.

and to kay i promise i will get you out i don't care if you hate me by the time i do because  at least you'll have a chance to escape this life before i do remember the dusk is darkest just before the dawn and the dawn is coming its coming with me, zero, x, burning ark, sarah, grey and plaghe  we are all going to come for you but not before i do something to make sure you will be 100% safe

server we are coming for elegant decay... and you cant stop us 

comes with the job

ugh im so tired of this job but dammit its probly the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. guess i cant complian much i feel better ever sience i joined, i finally have a meaning in life... the feeling like im makeing a diffrence. for better or for worse. i have a good rank so i have power, many proxies who do what i say when i say it, and even a place to go to if i dont have anywhere else to go, they even bought me lunch today, i dont feel the need to look behind my shoulder every minute, i dont feel like hes always there...watching me... even though i know he is, maybe it just comes with the job

ugh but i guess all the power or respect cant separate me from what trubles me most i guess, i mean its alright haveing power and respect but... i guess its all just based on how you get there that matters...

maybe im growing up?... nah

i wonder what life whould be like if i wasint here tommorrow? like i just vanished compleatly
would it matter?...would anybody care? idk i try to do so much more then what i am but it just ends up getting throw back in my face, nomatter how good the deed... I just hate it,.. wonder if that comes with the job too.

why do i bother getting up in the mornings. knowing who i am how do i look myslef in the fucking merrior each day... maybe becouse im only looking at a mask?

wonder what it is thats keeping me from just one day blowing my brains out?
maybe its them? maybe becouse i feel like i can still make a diffrence?

for better... or for worse?...

Heh its getting late, I guess ill just dicided agian wether or not to get up that day, I need a reason thats for sure

-TDS

im back

Hello I'm back.
If you have seen the pervious blogs it looks as if someone has hacked my account again... This is NOT good

If they have hacked my account it means they have been monitoring my account including my bog updates witch means the proxies now know about zero and the other one I have been meeting (no names needed) If they learn about who they are I will not be able to do much even at my level 4 rank.
I hope they don't find anything too important
Who knows what they would do or are planning on doing
this blog isn't safe anymore but I need a place to get it all recorded, hell it's apart of my job as a proxy
And it's for my peace of mind (sigh)
Well I guess I should explain what happened to me...
I was about too fall asleep right after having anthor meeting (no more information on the subject to be safe)
After making sure nobody was monitoring our chat room I started heading to bed
I heard some noises outside so I went to investigate, there was someone standing in my driveway...
I asked who it was and then he rushed after me I tried to avoid the oncoming threat but I couldn't I didn't know what to do at this time so I accepted it as my fate... Death
Luckily it wasn't death but then again it wasn't much better then death though.
After handcuffing me to my own bed( -_- ) he told b to type something on my blog I did not know what to expect
So I did what he said and he grabed me and my computer and threw me in the back of his truck (little SOB) and he drove me to the closest warehouse just outside of town were the king was waiting for me apparently We opened a passage from this world to the next I didn't know were I was going I thought this was an exile but it turned out to just be a three day suspension so I couldn't do anything
Their plan was to kill zero

Luckily I had recorces and we were able to. Rescue her just in time although she is in a hospital I think.

But I was still in anther dimension but I was able to contact people through my computer witch he brought for some reason?  And I somehow had Internet XD I am home I was wondering for hours not even knowing who I was I had lost my memory apon entry I had friends though who were willing to help including an unknown Allie
I have called him plague he has smoke for hands and for a head he's about the size of an imp and he move very fast and can disappear into smoke

He help me retrieve my memory so I could rescue zero

Now I am home and alive with my full memory and I got some revenge on the one who kidnapped me do not fuck with me dude let's just say he's currently insane hahahaha XD score one for me SCORE ZERO FOR U

are you coming back john?

ready for school?

johnny  


quite down now... john

who?

youll stop all this...

and come...

someone
you arnt comeing back... john...

??!!??


put that away

PUT THAT AWAY...

 !!SLAM!! ...

quite down john

an listion to us

return to us...

return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us return to us


OR WE SHALL RETURN TO YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


TBA-

why did i do it?

what happend to me? why did i become what i am now?

why did this all have to happen?
why did i become a chosen?
why did i become a proxy?

why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

just please tell me?

why did i meet her?
why did i meet them
why did i meet HIM

is it becouse i was forced into this?
or did i want this?

was it becouse i wasint strong enough to aviod it?
or i wasint strong enough to accept myself?

did i just become confused about my true identity?
or did i just become lost in the identity i already had?

maybe it was becouse i didint know what would happen?
or maybe i did and... wanted it to happen...


maybe its just who i am?

what am i though?

what is it, what am i and why do we exist

i feel... evil

its cold and yet... comforting

why i dont post often

hello its darksun i got a message asking me why i dont really post all that often

well one of the main resons is that im way way way to busy i have many many websites and accounts on them so i am very busy all the time (tough being a proxy yeesh)

so to let you all know  just how busy i am every single damn day ill show you a list of how many accounts and websites i have:

(#) = accounts i have on siad website

youtube (4)
blogger (1)
yahoo (5)
gmail (1)
maboo (1)
facebook (3)
bl0g (1)
chatango (3)
myspace (1)
twitter (1)
deviantart (2)
and all of that including school at 7:00 am sharp and ends at 3:00 pm im HEEELLLLLA busy all the time so thats why i dont blog very much but im getting better