ugh im so tired of this job but dammit its probly the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. guess i cant complian much i feel better ever sience i joined, i finally have a meaning in life... the feeling like im makeing a diffrence. for better or for worse. i have a good rank so i have power, many proxies who do what i say when i say it, and even a place to go to if i dont have anywhere else to go, they even bought me lunch today, i dont feel the need to look behind my shoulder every minute, i dont feel like hes always there...watching me... even though i know he is, maybe it just comes with the job
ugh but i guess all the power or respect cant separate me from what trubles me most i guess, i mean its alright haveing power and respect but... i guess its all just based on how you get there that matters...
maybe im growing up?... nah
i wonder what life whould be like if i wasint here tommorrow? like i just vanished compleatly
would it matter?...would anybody care? idk i try to do so much more then what i am but it just ends up getting throw back in my face, nomatter how good the deed... I just hate it,.. wonder if that comes with the job too.
why do i bother getting up in the mornings. knowing who i am how do i look myslef in the fucking merrior each day... maybe becouse im only looking at a mask?
wonder what it is thats keeping me from just one day blowing my brains out?
maybe its them? maybe becouse i feel like i can still make a diffrence?
for better... or for worse?...
Heh its getting late, I guess ill just dicided agian wether or not to get up that day, I need a reason thats for sure
-TDS
ugh but i guess all the power or respect cant separate me from what trubles me most i guess, i mean its alright haveing power and respect but... i guess its all just based on how you get there that matters...
maybe im growing up?... nah
i wonder what life whould be like if i wasint here tommorrow? like i just vanished compleatly
would it matter?...would anybody care? idk i try to do so much more then what i am but it just ends up getting throw back in my face, nomatter how good the deed... I just hate it,.. wonder if that comes with the job too.
why do i bother getting up in the mornings. knowing who i am how do i look myslef in the fucking merrior each day... maybe becouse im only looking at a mask?
wonder what it is thats keeping me from just one day blowing my brains out?
maybe its them? maybe becouse i feel like i can still make a diffrence?
for better... or for worse?...
Heh its getting late, I guess ill just dicided agian wether or not to get up that day, I need a reason thats for sure
-TDS
You have a reason.
ReplyDeletei feel the adakt same way but you have frends a famly do me a faver take off the mask for tody your hume like all of us just hume you savd mt life that made a difrens and if you die who wood save me then so stick aronf for lifes game i woodent be playing with out you
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