You cannot hate life... You can only question it

Latly I have been asking myself what is real and what is a lie in the world... Sometimes I wonder what I mean when I ask myself that... I don't think I want to know... I don't know what I am really asking anymore... What do we want when we ask our questions anymore?... Do we want the real answer to improve our understanding? Or do we just want the answer we were hoping for?... From Our first questions to our last, how much did we really accomplish learning the things we did? Don't answer me... Just let your mind ponder the answer a little. As for me... I'm going to stop trying to find the answer... And begin my search for the solution... I mean... Witch would you prefer? The answer to the question?... Or the solution to the problem... Again don't answer me.... Just let your mind ponder...

She found me

Hello everybody once again... I have returned... It has been well over a month sense deaths oblivion left the last blog post on here and it is true my chosen did shoot me. I have now returned with the head of the one who was truly aiming to kill me, deaths oblivion. He had been working to kill me for many months and at first I had never known but after more time had past the more I began to revise he was using me, so I did not stop him instead I used his own cruel game against himself and now he is the one who lies dead. But the day i had return I thing I have fallen... For someone... Without her I would have never had been able to return I do belive I have fallen for her now.

R.I.P the dark end

R.I.P the dark end sun...

Our dark deed is done... His body burns... And now Zero must know his secret... And his reasons...


Goodbye Dark...

Goodbye The Dark End...

Somthing survived... I dont know what but I know what but somthing survived...

We burned his body nothing could have survived... Nothing... What could he have used to survive...

Its not a full survival hes body is but ashes but I can feel somthing...
What have you done Dark

You gave me a horrible feeling in my stumbach... I dont even have a stumbach

What have you done to cheat death Dark?

WHAT.

As his body burned... Thats when I first felt it in my stumbach...

He somehow cheated death...

It was truely a dark end...

sentenced

Hello my name is deaths oblivion or my recently discovered name: darks oblivion.
Dark has been sentenced to death tomarrow at noon.

I am a demon spawn from the Arkstone of Minipulation and Darksun. His mind has been eroded for years without knowing it and as a result, it spawned me, how he managed to stay sane for that amount of time is beyond me...

Ever sense he became a proxy he has been planning something (I wont go into details for the sake of the mission). I am accomponing him on Darks mission but in order for his mission to be accomplished he must be killed by his chosen...
His chosen, Zero, is the one who to kill him he has prepared for it to be this way, and prepared for her to be ready to kill him... he will explain one horrible truth to her one I at first did not know this horrible truth of his, but I do now and I now belive he is compleate and utter scum...

Zero will be told this secret and then dark shall tell her his last two wishes in life... she will refuse and then shoot him.
After witch I shall tell her the reason for it all and she will cry for what she has done and fall in regret even though she should be happy. After we compleate this dark task we will go deep into a forest and burn Darks remains as ordered by Dark... the reason for this is currently unknown

A while back Dark actually died.. he commited suicide first he cut his throut then he went to the hospitol they put him on a breathing machine and then pulled out the plug... He died in the hospitol bed with a friend of his just in the other room. I then used an arkstone called the arkstone of infinte knowledge to find a to cheat death, it worked he was dead for a day, lost much of his memory though.

After that incident Zero made Dark swear he would never leave her again... he promised her even though he knew what was going to happen tomarrow...

zero says she will tell me a secret after his death, a secret she made me swear on my half life to keep.... Im telling you this now because after his death I will be unable to even tell you such a secret even exists

That secret I will keep out of respect for her current sorrow... she has even asked to join me in his funeral, why she wants to come is quite strange to me

humans are... interesting creatures...  

finally zero replied -_-

she finally talked to me today i asked her what was going on and she wouldint fucking tell me -_-

she also found out i was lieing to her about somthing (damn i need to update this thing more often so much shit has been going on) you know... what the hell ill just give a brief update of what has happend

 ok last month i told my freind zero a  lie, i told her i was going to leave and try to find somthing called ben (i only pretended to not know what it was i know all about the video game and the kid drowning and all the fucked up tim burten shit -_-) i told her this lie so she would leave the proxies (dont ask it acctually worked but now shes a a proxy again) i told her this lie because i was afriad she would reach a rank were she would not be able to leave so i had to save her before it happend meanwhile my friend kaelynn (or the seeker of truth) was going away to kill some strange creatures that had been following her (i wont go into detail ok, no fucking way) she sucsefully killed one but the other is still alive (ive seen it and i sure as hell want to unsee it) the same creture followed me home and murdered one of my friends who was in a helicopter at the time i saw a yellow light come from it and then it turned red i then heard loud screaming coming from it as it then began to plumit to the ground and burst into flames halfway down (idk how the dude is fucking scary and overall weird) i was rescued by a fellow proxy(who i dont know to this day) then zero left unexpectedly we were all tariffied for her life she then returned telling us random crazy things saying hes coming for me then somthing about excaping and a cage the slender man killing her (even though shes was a proxy at the time) she continued on for about half an hour then left she returned the next day with threats of suicide (even though she messed up sevreal times and i figured out she was lieing, in fact i kinda knew from the start she messed up by saying we might meet again i mean its fucking death so im sure as hell am going to see her again XD so i knew it was a lie) then she left then kaelynn left to kill the creature with her friend (and my new friend  i think) the server, so i was left all alone i was sent off to the hosipital for five damn days for experements (-_- asshole proxies) when i return i see that kealynns back but right before she left i kinda did somthing im not entirely proud of and now im wondering wether or not to tell her and if so how im going to tell her i know i should to keep my peace of mind (lets just say i do everything for a reason they dont EVEN know how much i mean that) but this was a selfish act and so im telling her. so now here we are...

... ahh feels good to get all that shit off my chest X3

all in all its been ONE HELL OF A MONTH

MESSAGE TO ZERO

zero i know your still alive in fact ive almost known from the first message you sent us X3

i have been testing you quite alot in the time that you sent the first message  (around 30-40 tests idk) i wouldint have worked at this so much if it wernt for the last line in the last message you sent on the chat so im certain you are still alive and in F----------, idk why your trying to fake your death or why you gave your pc to tricky who knows maybe you want to show her a secret message, who knows all that matters is that your alive now and im worried  as to what your getting yourslef into just go to the chat and explian as to why your doing this ok? please i want to help you, you were begging for help right before you left and i wanted to help you but you wouldint tell us what was happing( btw the other reason as to why i wasint helping you right away is because i had a bit of a hunch as to why you were doing this.) so come on zero i know your still alive i told kaelynn you were still alive we know it now come and just talk to us   

I AM THE BIGGIST MORON IN THE FUCKING PLANET

hello everyone i know i broke my promise and left for a few weeks but now i have a major problem somthing i was told to fix but i messed up and failed now my friend zero is gone...

im a fucking moron

she was begging for help and i... i didint listion to her... i asked why she needed help but she wouldint tell me... why wouldint she tell me?

i have screwed up royally and now because of my lack of thinking i failed and lost a chosen...

FUCKING DAMMIT I LOST A FRIEND

now becuase of this... DAMNED ARK PIECE I... I FUCKED UP

when she fianlly siad goodbye i didint want to belive it... so i didint act when i should have... the moment she begged for help i should have jumped right out of my chiar and devoted every fucking recorce i had into finding her... but i didint... i just told myslef the logical answer and... and i fucked up and lost her... so while she was staring down the barrel of a loaded gun i sat back and did nothing... I FUCKED UP... ALL BECAUSE OF FUCKING LOGIC!!! THIS DAMN ARKSTONE HAS CURRUPTED ME TO ONLY THINK LOGICLY AND NOW IT COSTED ME MY FRIEND...

well ITS NOT FAIR... ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR GODDAMMIT

I HAD THE CHANCE TO SAVE HER AND I FUCKED UP LIKE THE LOGIC THINKING CURRUPTED ASSHOLE OF A FRIEND JACKASS I AM

its been to long... to fucking long i have had this arkstone... its shown me the greatest light imaginable and shown me the deepest dark depths and the deeper i went... the more i came to relise,,,, im not even human anymore...

zero is gone and i can only blame myslef for not fucking acting when i should have

why didint i just get rid of reason and thought of saveing zero...

too late now...

its been a while sense i posted but i happy to say im back to normal

hello everybody i have not posted in a while i was off on a long proxy mission to regain my sanity theburningark was acctually the one who brought me back (belive it or not) but at the cost of his own sanity... the sanity i gave him...

thats the only known cure for a hollowed proxy... but your not allowed to know what that is...

he did leave me a present though, he left me the arkstone of truth
(it forces its victems to only tell the master of the arkstone the compleate truth but it causes sevear dammage to their brian cells and and you tend not to belive anybody no matter what the subject)

i hope hes reading this even though i know not many are watching this blog but i hope he sees it...

i hope anyway...

gunna be a short post today i promise not to dissapear for that long again

der marchen der grobbsman

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FINALLY I HAVE CHANGED

FINALLY A HOLLOWED IT FEELS GREAT

JOIN ME  CHOSEN AND BURN IN EATURNAL DARKNESS

BECOME ONE WITH THEDARKENDSUN


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA


NOW YOU SHALL TRUELY LEARN WHAY IT MEANS TO FEAR US CHOSEN

NOW BURN ALL OF YOU BURN

WAS IT ENOUGH

i keep asking myself if i did enough for those two
you both cansay how bad of a person i am but you gotta ask yourselfs... what were you expecting?

were your expecting me to just come here and make EVERYTHING better.. well no i cant make everything better but i tried i did so much to try and stop you both from becomeing proxies

i saved your life in person 3 times
i took the role of proxy over you so a hollowed whouldint take it
i commited suicide so i whouldint become a proxy and kill you both
i fought and killed countless other hollowed proxies and thier servants (not that im proud ughh)
i became your friend and tried to help you all understand what we were
i told you so many proxy secrets that i should be hanged on a burning tree

what more do i have to do...

please tell me and i swear ill do it
im always willing to go the extra mile because while all the proxies you met were hideing behind your houses and scarring the shit out of you i tried to help you the best that i could and yet you still chose their side
sure im on that side too but am i proud? am i proud im becomeing some half human whos job is to scare children? am i proud that im friends with near monsters who kill people and think it fun and an everyday thing?

NO IM NOT FUCKING PROUD

im proud because im not like them
im proud because i was diffrent from those monsters who stalked you
IM PROUD BECOUSE YOU SHOWED ME THAT
so now i love the chosen and i care for them on a daily baises even though i have so much power i could torture them and scare them but i dont... i dont because its who i am
i lived with them stalking me and i grew out of trying to become like them
so now im helping
im trying to make a diffrence but it always gets thrown back at me but at least i helped inspire some of them to be diffrent

the server can say what he wants i dont want to use words to show what im doing to help
i use actions

what could he have to surpass that... nothing

you both are the ones who prove that i made a diffrence
because im sure you will AT LEAST HESATATE before you dicide what to do next,wether to scar them for life or help them chose the a life as a blood thirsty monster proxy or a proxy that will care for the chosen like i do

i guess what im trying to say is that... i made a diffrence... and that diffrence is you two

please try to understand

please...

for now
the server can say what he wants am going to use actions

hello again server

but then again thats not your real alise is it?

no no no

you have many names but only one tells them who you truely are only one tells them the life they will soon have ONLY ONE strikes the fear right back into thier soals

but for now youll just have to get all your little tricks back out on to the playing feild because im not leaveing anytime soon for i am the darkend sun that will never die out

you traped me once in that god forsaken realm and then you went for zero but your proxies failed so now you try to kill me to go after elegant decay. you molded and twisted her mind that day in her cage thats what you were doing clearing her mind of any thoughts of server being sombody else

well kaelynn have you ever looked past his mask? just to take a peek at his face?

ever?

cant be bothered i soppose

i am currently staying with an old friend named DEATHS OBLIVION he is not on my side but hes not on the proxies side or the chosens side is alone toying with us all, just on the sidelines watching waiting for the war, he told me i whould hae a big part in an upcoming war but he wouldint tell me what or why

ughh i just wonder witch side i will chose the proxies or the chosen idk my friends are all with the proxies (ugh the very thing i tried to stop them from be comeing) and yet server is telling them its exactly what i wanted them to do... fuck you server you dumb fuck you huanted us all through our chiledhood but you just cant stop at that can you? uuuuuuuurrrrrrr what do you want from me? are you trying to mold us into something, so i wont be afraid to kill them if i chose the chosen...

fuck you im going back to bed still recovering from sliceing my throught in an attempt at suicide

i hope your all thrilled at what your all becomeing... guess even i couldint stop you... its like you want this

^((^(568D75^%(569%6(%E*%&^6%$A&^*&))^%$T4576H***********

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6666666666666666666666666666666


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we shall not die i am the dark entity of a burning truth,
death is not my destiny today nor shall i ever truely die

for i, THEDARKENDSUN am the light that burns dark the light at the end of the tunnel i have burned the sun into a black wasteland that i will fill with my brighter tommorow

i am the darkend sun
shall i travel to the dark beyond?
not drive past my chance to free them for my own sake?
die i may but the dark sun shall live on

but i am on your side chosen

I AM ON YOUR SIDE AS YOUR GUIDE

THE CHOSEN SHALL LIVE ON AND I SHALL GUIDE THEM TO VICTORY

FOR THE CHOSEN

DARK IS DEAD THIS IS A FRIEND

hello im a proxy simply here to inform you that of this day thedarkendsun is no longer alive

i feel i should tell you the meaning of his name

its not the darkend sun its the dark "end" sun

it means the dark end of all our bright ideas

just thought i would allow you all to know

final entry of thedarkendsun

decesed

why zero

idk why you had to do that zero
when they came for me i slit my throught but it wasint enough they grabbed me and got the knife before i could finish the job why did you have to try and be the hero

why

im in a proxy hospital in solitary confinement it hurts and they are constantly watching my every move
my neck hurts and they are only letting me update my blog once a week freaking assholes

ugh why couldint you understand why i was doing it zero you just couldint let me save you one final time well im not going to hurt you zero thats final

my final failure
why couldint it be my last failure

im not going to live very long

not anymore

TDS-

my final failure

hello followers i'm sorry but i belive this may be my last post

i have dicided i dont wish to live this way i'm tired and i need to rest... in hell.
i have dicided how i'm going to end it all... i'm going to lock my self in my truck and fall asleep with the engine turned on  it should do the trick as painlessly as possible...

i'm so sorry everyone but its true this time last time i was trying to find something out but now i dont want to know anything this time. iv'e learned all i can in this war and i dont want to know anything more now.

now i'm going

my goodbyes:
i'm sorry zero
i'm sorry elegant decay
i'm sorry sarah
im sorry X
im sorry burning ark
i'm sorry proxies


i have learned something
i learned i am going to become a full insane proxy

i dont want that
i dont want to hurt you all
im not doing this for my own benifets im doing this for you

you can die a hero or you can live long enough to become the villian

im so sorry

remember you can only love life...

 as much as you hate it...

MUCH NEEDED UPDATE FOR FOLLOWERS

hello its dark sun

i have been very very busy lately and i feel like you all need an update on whats going on...

well to start things off i belive i have posted something about zero so i suppose i shall explain the other one
her name is elegant decay and she is right now a very good fiend.
we met through zero and currently we are trying to save her from somebody named the server. he currently a proxy rank 7 (out of 10, i'm a 4) and he seems vary intent on keeping elegant decay (or E.D), but more about E.D first. mostly all i know of her is about her connection with a proxy creator known as The Grey (or what she calls him: zedorian grey) ( ZI-DOOR-HE-ON) when she sleeps she meets the zedioran grey in her own mind. this expirance i think may have gifted her  with a 6th sense (A.K.A future telling) she has shown me many  a time she has the abilaty and i think part of that and grey is what theserver is after. not sure yet.

so currently me and zero and her friend sarah are all trying to locate E.D but we are not having much luck and now zero is missing (right on time as usual zero -.-) and now i'm going to have to save her and E.D too while im up to my ass in paperwork from the proxies and even school and homework(yes proxies go to school too. that best buddy in your class yeah better take a look and see if he has any masks or slendy pics in his lunch pale or cubby hole XD now try highschool)  so i'm kinda fucked  right now i'm running on vaper and its going to take forever to find them both but once i find zero im putting her under house arrest by the proxies so then while shes safe at home ill be free to continue my research

soon i am going to try somthing to get E.D back im just not sure how to do it yet

i wont give in theserver

server i hope your reading this because i wont be intimadated by your little game of kidnapping people. your nothing in this game to me your nothing but a power hungry idiot that cant get past who he really is to fight me because you know what  your greatest power will be your greatest downfall.
do not test me

in fact i remember the last people who pissed me off this much the first was a kid who wrote me death threats well to make a long story short hes in a mental hospital screaming: "help me, ghosts are coming for me" and before that was a teacher who used to yell at us in third grade well shes in tie-won trying to make a buck selling oranges... yeah . and the last one was when two kids (who were best friends you cannot even imagine how close they were) were a bit mean to me and now they hate eachothers guts one even tried to kill the other

now you have kidnapped my friend locked her up would not let her speak to me hurt her and worst of all stolen her cigerettes. that was years ago and now i'm much older and far more smarter then who i used to be and you have angered me in ways you cannot imagine. so what do you think i'm going to do... don't tell me just let it simmer in your mind a little...

 just know this. the end is coming and you will not get away with this unpunished in the most brutal way you can think of. i know what your planning to do and i'm using some new tricks iv'e picked up over the years and iv'e been dieing to try them out.

she is strong and she will fight i know shes not brainwashed just yet i know shes still in there and i will fight to my last breath to find where she is. i have done... horrible things... for a faith that was never my own, and now i realise i'm not like the rest of them... i help the chosen, i care for them, i love them and you will not make me into a mindless chosen killing zombie like you.
you can ether die a hero... or live long enough to become the villain. and ill die a hero because that will last FAR longer then anything you can ever be. i don't care what iv'e done i don't care if i go to hell because before i do i will fight my way into saving at least these chosen so they don't become like me.

and to kay i promise i will get you out i don't care if you hate me by the time i do because  at least you'll have a chance to escape this life before i do remember the dusk is darkest just before the dawn and the dawn is coming its coming with me, zero, x, burning ark, sarah, grey and plaghe  we are all going to come for you but not before i do something to make sure you will be 100% safe

server we are coming for elegant decay... and you cant stop us 

comes with the job

ugh im so tired of this job but dammit its probly the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. guess i cant complian much i feel better ever sience i joined, i finally have a meaning in life... the feeling like im makeing a diffrence. for better or for worse. i have a good rank so i have power, many proxies who do what i say when i say it, and even a place to go to if i dont have anywhere else to go, they even bought me lunch today, i dont feel the need to look behind my shoulder every minute, i dont feel like hes always there...watching me... even though i know he is, maybe it just comes with the job

ugh but i guess all the power or respect cant separate me from what trubles me most i guess, i mean its alright haveing power and respect but... i guess its all just based on how you get there that matters...

maybe im growing up?... nah

i wonder what life whould be like if i wasint here tommorrow? like i just vanished compleatly
would it matter?...would anybody care? idk i try to do so much more then what i am but it just ends up getting throw back in my face, nomatter how good the deed... I just hate it,.. wonder if that comes with the job too.

why do i bother getting up in the mornings. knowing who i am how do i look myslef in the fucking merrior each day... maybe becouse im only looking at a mask?

wonder what it is thats keeping me from just one day blowing my brains out?
maybe its them? maybe becouse i feel like i can still make a diffrence?

for better... or for worse?...

Heh its getting late, I guess ill just dicided agian wether or not to get up that day, I need a reason thats for sure

-TDS

im back

Hello I'm back.
If you have seen the pervious blogs it looks as if someone has hacked my account again... This is NOT good

If they have hacked my account it means they have been monitoring my account including my bog updates witch means the proxies now know about zero and the other one I have been meeting (no names needed) If they learn about who they are I will not be able to do much even at my level 4 rank.
I hope they don't find anything too important
Who knows what they would do or are planning on doing
this blog isn't safe anymore but I need a place to get it all recorded, hell it's apart of my job as a proxy
And it's for my peace of mind (sigh)
Well I guess I should explain what happened to me...
I was about too fall asleep right after having anthor meeting (no more information on the subject to be safe)
After making sure nobody was monitoring our chat room I started heading to bed
I heard some noises outside so I went to investigate, there was someone standing in my driveway...
I asked who it was and then he rushed after me I tried to avoid the oncoming threat but I couldn't I didn't know what to do at this time so I accepted it as my fate... Death
Luckily it wasn't death but then again it wasn't much better then death though.
After handcuffing me to my own bed( -_- ) he told b to type something on my blog I did not know what to expect
So I did what he said and he grabed me and my computer and threw me in the back of his truck (little SOB) and he drove me to the closest warehouse just outside of town were the king was waiting for me apparently We opened a passage from this world to the next I didn't know were I was going I thought this was an exile but it turned out to just be a three day suspension so I couldn't do anything
Their plan was to kill zero

Luckily I had recorces and we were able to. Rescue her just in time although she is in a hospital I think.

But I was still in anther dimension but I was able to contact people through my computer witch he brought for some reason?  And I somehow had Internet XD I am home I was wondering for hours not even knowing who I was I had lost my memory apon entry I had friends though who were willing to help including an unknown Allie
I have called him plague he has smoke for hands and for a head he's about the size of an imp and he move very fast and can disappear into smoke

He help me retrieve my memory so I could rescue zero

Now I am home and alive with my full memory and I got some revenge on the one who kidnapped me do not fuck with me dude let's just say he's currently insane hahahaha XD score one for me SCORE ZERO FOR U

are you coming back john?

ready for school?

johnny  


quite down now... john

who?

youll stop all this...

and come...

someone
you arnt comeing back... john...

??!!??


put that away

PUT THAT AWAY...

 !!SLAM!! ...

quite down john

an listion to us